lady parts.

This taboo subject seems to only be spoken about in some sort of secret lady code… and the men folk don’t want any part of knowing anything about any parts.  WHY?!  I am breaking into regular programming here with a PSA – hey ladies, you have parts and there may be a day when they revolt and are angry and make your daily life a living hell…that NO ONE talks about.  You will fight your way through days filled with anxiety and fear, some days you will wonder if you are going to pass out or why someone turned on the furnace in the middle of summer!  No, wait… they didn’t, it just feels like an inferno in here.

Thankfully I have a pretty kick ass lady parts Dr.  ( even my own mother won’t breathe a word… though she is coming around a bit )

For months ( & months ) I have been fighting silently through each day, mustering the energy to get through the most basic chores.  I went to the primary doc and was asked if I was a vegetarian and surprised when my reply was no. Immediately I was given the instruction to eat meat basically every day and prescribed a cocktail of not gin, but super doses of iron, vitamin D and b12 along with a multi….( also, I have enjoyed guiltless regular brisket sandwiches from Hometown this last month, thank you! )

Doc #3 in this equation was brought into the mix by the lady parts dr. who had done a procedure earlier in the summer and determined I didn’t have Cancer ( YAY! ) but needed a little help getting the parts less angry… apparently they are PISSED OFF.  SO, there are a plethora of options here and I really suggest doing your research.  In the end after a consultation or two wtih Doc #3 we had a plan – but then the plan went out the window when last scan revealed that plan wasn’t going to work for me and I needed surgery.

I started talking about what was going on with a random tight knit group of lady friends and it seems there are A LOT of us suffering through all sorts of maladies of the lady parts.  To this I say WTF?!

As a single, never married and childless lady of a certain age it seems I have hit the point of no return here.  It is time to remove the parts I am not using as they are wreaking havoc on my otherwise adventurous life.  I say…Good Riddens!  So on the eve of my 45th birthday I will have a hysterectomy.

I can see how this may be traumatic for some but I never set out in life to be a mom…and as an only child the buck stops here.  I have decided to talk about it… openly.  & men watch out, I will spare the details but if you ask what’s going on you may get more than you bargined for… with a dash of humor of course.

I have gotten a wide variety of reactions thus far ranging from an easy peasy it’s a no brainer and a piece of cake to the visibly cringning and recoiling body movement paired with the audible ohhhh..are you okay?  I’m great.  I see the light at the end of the tunnel here so to speak and relief.  Relief to be done with this last almost year of fighting my way through the days, I’ll spare the gory details but it hasn’t been pretty.. or fun.  I am ready for fun…. and pretty.

So that’s the skinny folks. Let’s get back to some regular programming.  Adventure ON!

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